Strength Through Cancer: My Triple Negative Breast Cancer Healing Journey

🌸 Strength Through Cancer: My Triple Negative Breast Cancer Healing Journey

 

 
🌑 The Day My World Shifted

Cancer doesn’t arrive with warning. It seeps into your life like a shadow you didn’t know existed. When I was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer (TNBC) in 2014, everything I thought I knew about life, health, and faith collapsed into a single moment of silence.

There was no family history. No prior warning. One moment I was a mother, a wife, a woman managing her day, and the next — I was a patient.

TNBC was aggressive, fast-moving, and needed urgent treatment. I was told, “Chemo will begin immediately.” I nodded, but inside, I whispered, “Hanumanji, ab aap hi sambhaliye.”

That’s where my real journey began — not just of medical treatment, but of surrender, awakening, and reclaiming my strength.


🌿 Holding on to Faith When the Body Fails

The treatments were harsh — chemotherapy, lumpectomy, and radiation — each came like a wave, crashing down and leaving me drenched in fatigue, pain, and uncertainty.

I lost my hair.
I lost my sense of time.
But I never lost my inner voice — the one that kept chanting, “Jai Bajrang Bali.”

Even on the days I couldn’t get up, I kept Neem Karoli Baba’s photo close. In the silence of the hospital room, I imagined Him sitting beside me. Not speaking, just being there — watching me with compassion, absorbing my fear.

During my weakest moments, I would whisper the Hanuman Chalisa with trembling lips. My voice may have been soft, but my soul roared with every word.

I truly believe it wasn’t just medicine that healed me. It was grace.


🥣 The Healing That Began on My Plate

Chemotherapy damages not just the cancer, but the entire system. My digestion crashed. I felt nauseous all the time. I knew that if I wanted to survive, food had to become my medicine.

Here’s what worked for me — not from books, but from experience:

Simple khichdi with ghee and turmeric: It became my sacred food. It soothed my stomach and brought warmth to my body.

Fresh coconut water every day: It cleansed me from within.

Boiled vegetables with a pinch of rock salt and lemon — especially beetroot, ash gourd, and lauki.

Homemade soup with tulsi, ginger, and pepper — especially after radiation.

Zero sugar. No packet food. No outside food.


Every bite I ate, I offered to Ramji and Hanumanji. I used to say:
“May this food heal every cell. May it bring light where darkness lingers.”



🕯️ Trataka and Healing the Mind

When I could barely sit, I still lit a small diya and stared at the flame. That was my Trataka practice — a simple yogic gaze that became my most powerful spiritual tool.

As I gazed into that flame, I released:

My fear of death

My grief for my body

My regret for things left undone

My guilt for burdening my family


In that stillness, I received clarity. I realized that cancer was not just a disease — it was a messenger. A call to return to myself. To remember who I truly am.



📓 The Power of Journaling My Pain and Prayers

One of the biggest things that helped me was writing. I wrote every night. Even if my hands trembled.

I wrote about the day’s chemo

I wrote about my son — too young to understand why I was tired

I wrote letters to Balaji, to Baba, to Hanumanji

I wrote my fears. My dreams. My silence.


Over time, my journals stopped being about pain and became about transformation.

I stopped asking, “Why me?”
And started asking, “What am I meant to learn?”

One night, I even dreamt of Neem Karoli Baba. He appeared in black and white, with a small orb moving in his mouth, as though speaking a language beyond words. I prayed for my son, and soon after, I heard Baba say clearly, “Lo, ab yeh aa gaya.”

I wrote this down. That moment changed something deep within me. I knew I wasn’t just healing myself, I was healing my lineage.


🪔 Life After Treatment: The Silent Battle

People assume that once treatment is over, all is well. But the truth is, the real test begins after remission.

I dealt with:

Lymphedema on one side due to lymph node removal

Persistent fatigue, even after a full night’s sleep

Hormonal imbalances and weight gain

Emotional disconnection from my body

A constant undercurrent of anxiety


Sometimes, I’d burst into tears without reason. I didn’t feel “normal” anymore. I wasn’t who I was before. I wasn’t sure who I had become.

But in that space of not knowing, I found freedom.

I started lighting incense in the morning again. I restarted Sundarkand Paath every Tuesday and Saturday. The flames danced higher when I read aloud. On some days, they even shot up as if acknowledging my words. I felt seen. Heard. Held.


🐟 The Five Fish, the Soot Trails, and Signs from the Divine

Years later, during intense prayers for my son’s well-being and exams, strange events began to occur in our home:

Five small fish appeared in water unexpectedly — no one knew how

Black soot trails began to form in places where no incense was burned

I noticed dust and dirt accumulating near the puja unit and dining area, even after regular cleaning


I took these not as problems, but as spiritual signs.

The fish felt like a purification symbol — gentle reminders of divine presence.
The soot trails — perhaps remnants of karmic cleansing, as old energies burned away.
And the gathering dirt? A message to keep cleansing not just the home, but the self — mind, emotion, and ether.

I began keeping rock salt bowls in corners, chanting daily, and playing Hanuman bhajans at sunset. The house began to feel lighter. My son became more emotionally connected. One day, during paath, he spontaneously joined in, hugged me, and said, “Mumma, can I also do prayer?”

That was worth every needle. Every scar. Every tear.


🌼 What Cancer Gave Me

Cancer stripped me bare — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
But in that nakedness, I found:

My truth

My power

My purpose


It taught me to:

Live slowly and prayerfully

Speak less, feel more

Honor my energy and intuition

Stop tolerating toxicity — especially energetic imprints from others

Build strong spiritual boundaries

Let Hanumanji and Neem Karoli Baba lead the way, not just during disease, but in daily life



🕊 Final Message: To the Woman Still in Battle

If you are still walking through cancer…

Know this:

💛 You are not just a patient. You are a warrior of light.
💛 You are not alone. Even when no one understands, God is watching.
💛 You will emerge — not the same, but more powerful, more real, more radiant.

Light your diya. Speak to your deities. Write your truth. Eat with prayer. Rest when tired. Cry when needed. Laugh when it rises.
Let Hanumanji carry your burden. Let Balaji Maharaj cut the unseen ties. Let Baba walk silently beside you.

This is not the end.
This is your soul’s rebirth.